Losing Sanity
by stolzybaby
Summary: Edward left Bella Broken Hearted lying in the forest. Without him she lost her will to live. A stranger changes her and now 51 years later Bella has a new family and a new love. What happens when the Cullen's come back? Collaboration AllytheVamp.Chick
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Any Of The Characters Just The One's You Don't ****Recognize**

**Prologue**

_Bella Pov_

I was now in Canada walking through the forest. It reminded me so much of the one in Forks. Slowly touching each tree memories and flash backs flooded my mind. This forest brought back so many memories. One in particular that I would have liked to forget.

_Flashback_

"_Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand._

_I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. This is bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again._

_But he didn't answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me?_

_We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail-I could still see the house._

_Some walk._

_Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable._

"_Okay, let's talk," I said, it sounded braver than it felt._

_He took a deep breath._

"_Bella, we're leaving."_

_I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask._

"_Why now? Another year-"_

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."_

_His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant._

_He started back coldly._

_With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood._

"_When you say we-," I whispered_

"_I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct._

_I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak._

"_Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."_

"_You can't, Bella. Where we're going...It's not the right place for you."_

"_Where you are is the right place for me."_

"_I'm no good for you, Bella."_

"_Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."_

"_My world is not for you," he said grimly._

"_What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"_

"_You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."_

"_You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"_

"_As long as that was the best for you," he interrupted to correct me._

"_No! This is about my soul isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me-somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's your already!"_

_He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying._

_There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for the real intent._

"_You…don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

"_No."_

_I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without an apology. His eyes were like topaz-hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them foe miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken._

"_Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how clam and reasonable my voice sounded. I must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense._

_He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

"_Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."_

_He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had._

"_You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew I wasn't good enough for him._

_I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again._

"_If... that's what you want."_

_He nodded once._

_My whole body went numb, I couldn't feel anything below the neck._

"_I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," he said_

_I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he composed his features into the same serene mask._

"_Anything," I vowed my voice faintly stronger._

_As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again,, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming._

"_Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_I nodded helplessly._

_His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself-for him."_

_I nodded again. "I will," I whispered_

_He seemed to relax a little._

"_And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

_My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away._

_He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

'_And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking._

"_Well"- he hesitated for a short second- "I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted." He smiled; the smile was tranquil and I did not touch his eyes._

_He took a step away from me. "That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again."_

_The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything._

"_Alice isn't coming back," I realized. I don't know how he heard me- the words made no sound- but he seemed to understand._

"_No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."_

"_Alice is gone?" my voice was blank with disbelief._

"_She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."_

_I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His word swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly._

_I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare._

"_Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice._

"_Wait!" I chocked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs carry me foreword._

_I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned hem to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed._

"_Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin._

_There was a light, an unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage._

_He was gone._

_Flashback ended._

The memory haunts my very existence. I feel like a zombie, I'm living yet not living at all. I'm broken into two pieces. When he left he took apart of me that I can't get or take back. Every time I close my eyes I see him. The way he looked. They way he smelled. And the way he smiled that crooked smile. I can never forget him because everything I do reminds me of him. I'm trying to get a hold of myself but I can't. I want to be with him forever but he shattered that dream. I don't want him hanging over me. I want to breathe again. I want to close my eyes and not see his face. I want to open my eyes and be free. So I put on my best acting face and go out to face the world.


	2. Chapter 1: Pain

Chapter 1: Pain

_Bella Pov_

He left me. He doesn't want me anymore. I knew this had to happen sometime. After all, I am only human. I wandered around the forest humbly. I didn't know how long I wandered. Hours? Minutes? It didn't matter. When I tripped on the roots of a nearby tree and fell to my knees, I didn't even bother to get up. I just kept lying there. Soon, it turned cold and I knew Charlie would be looking for me. But I couldn't move at all; it was like my joints were frozen where they stood.

The sun began to disappear and I could feel raindrops falling through the thick canopy of trees. I was so absent minded that I hardly noticed that a man appeared in front of me. He was so pale, his eyes were gold and he was gorgeous. Another veggie vamp, just what I needed to help me get over _him_. He had blood running down his chin which was staining his clothes. He had a lifeless bloody bunny in his hand. **Uh-oh** I thought. He was in the middle of hunting; something told me that this wasn't good. He sniffed the air and a pained expression crossed his face. He wanted my blood, but he knew he had to resist. He walked towards me, eager.

"I'm Sorry." He told me as he ran over and plunged his razor sharp teeth into my neck. I screamed out. This was it. This was how I would die. **Edward **I thought. **Edward…I love you** I thought again as the fire started to course through my body burning everything. He kept sucking until I lost consciousness. The last thing I saw was the vampire being pulled off me and snarls coming from my saviors.

********************

Pain, Pain is all I felt. The pain was all I could think about. It consumed me. **Edward** I thought again as I winced under the pain of the change **wasn't joking when he said changing was painful**. It felt like fire licking the inside of my veins. I was completely consumed by the burning. It made my body crumble to the floor.

"Ahhh." I screamed at the top of my lungs. The pain wasn't going away. Tears leaked through my eyes, the pain was too much. My body ached twice as much. It felt like my body was going to explode into fire. It made it that much worse that wasn't there by my side helping me through this.

_Flashback_

_We were laying in our meadow together. I was lying on his chest. He had his arm wrapped around me._

_"Edward." I whispered to him tracing his face with my eyes._

_"Yes." He breathed._

_"I want to stay like this forever." I said to him. He laughed._

_"Me too."_

_"Edward I want you to change me." I said to him. His smile turned into a thin line. "Edward." Repeating his name._

_"Bella, we talked about this-"_

_"Edward please…" I whined._

_"I don't know….Bella I don't want you to become like this…like me."He whispered in my ear._

"_Edward I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Why won't you change me?" I asked him in a stern voice._

"_Bella, you want to become a monster like me?" He questioned me._

"_You're not a monster Edward. I love you because your sweet and you smell nice." I said to him trying not to laugh._

"_Really now, only because I smell nice." He joked._

"_Edward please stop fighting with me on this. Why won't you change me?"_

"_Bella, please just drop it. I won't change you and that's final." He said getting a little irritated_

"_Please" I whined again._

"_Bella." He said. His voice was getting more stern. I turned away and crossed my hands over my chest. "Bella, don't be mad. I just don't want you to be like this. Please understand." I gave in and nodded. He might have won this battle but he hasn't won the war._

_End Flashback_

The memories were coming back to me more powerful than before. I missed him so much. I wanted him to make this pain stop. I swear I could see him here watching me. I tried to get him he was moving farther and farther away.

"Bella, Bella." I could hear his voice whisper to me. Every time I tried to move closer he would move back. He would move back until I couldn't see him anywhere. He was gone like before leaving me in a dark hole to be by myself. I turned around and found the rest of the family around me. They were disappearing too. One by one leaving me just like he did. Tears fell down my face.

_Flashback_

_"Hey Bella!" Emmett screamed from across the room. I walked into the game room and found Emmett playing video games. "Bella!" He screamed again giving me a hug._

_"Emmett-I-can't-breathe." I said to him trying not to lose consciousness._

_"Oh sorry." He said letting me go. I fell to the ground. I put my hand to my chest to make sure my heart was still beating. "I forget you're human sometimes." I smiled at him._

_"So, what were you doing?" I asked._

_"Playing video games. Want to play?"_

_"No, No, No! I'm not playing video games."_

_"Please Bella, Jasper's being mean. He won't play with me. He's too busy with Alice." He whined. "Please." He said again with his best puppy dog face. Who could resist Emmett's puppy face._

_"Fine."_

_"Yay! Bella!" He screamed jumping up and down. He knocked over Esme's favorite vase. It was about to fall when Emmett and I looked at each other. He ran over and slid over to it barely missing it. __**Crash**__. The pieces went everywhere._

_"EMMETT MCCARTHY CULLEN!" Esme screamed from the kitchen. "YOU DID NOT JUST BREAK MY FAVORITE VASE?"_

_"NO!" He screamed. "IT WAS ALL BELLA'S FAULT." I gasped._

_"No….No…" I said shaking my head._

_"EMMETT CULLEN YOU GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE AND STOP BLAMING BELLA." She yelled. I held back a laugh as he hung his head down and walked into the kitchen. I could hear Esme. She was anything but happy. He came out of the kitchen and was silent._

_"It's all your fault." He whispered to me as he walked up the stairs. "Thanks Bella." He said sarcastically. That did it I fell to the floor and laughed so hard. I could barely stop. "Ha-ha very funny." He stuck his tongue out at me._

_End Flashback_

Another memory about my family or so called family. The pain was killing me on the inside. It was filling my body with pain. I screamed louder and louder. The pain was so hard to suppress. I was losing control of my body. My body was thrashing everywhere. My arms were going up and down. My legs were kicking all over the place. I hardly noticed it when I was picked up from the dirt and leaves. I felt the wind blow in my face as someone carried me and placed me on a couch. The coach was smooth and cold against my heated and painful body. The cold hands that held me soothed the pain but, only for a minute. It was only day one of my transformation, and I already wanted to die. I couldn't stop screaming and thrashing. I felt another pair of cold hands on my forehead trying to calm down. Soon, the pain went from dull pressures to pure agony, I didn't know how much longer I could take this.

_Allegra Pov_

We were coming to Forks from Canada. We wanted to meet the Cullen's. We've heard so much about them from the Denali Coven. They were also vegetarian vampires just like us. We wanted to meet them and talk about Adam. He doesn't have enough control over himself to abstain from biting humans. Blood called to him everywhere he went. He tried to resist but once in a while the urge to kill over took him and he couldn't stop. So we were going to Forks in search of their family.

We took a plane from Toronto, Canada to Forks, Washington. The plane ride was short but sweet. We went first class to make sure Adam didn't commit a massacre on the plane. He was trying not to breathe and think about the other humans aboard the plane. We landed in Seattle. We took our luggage and went to our new house. We decided to rent a house. Our stay here wasn't permanent. The house was enormous. The house was white and old but still beautiful. It had nine bedrooms and seven and a half bathrooms which we would use anyway.

We stopped in front of our house. The boys were already fighting over whose room was whose.

"I get the biggest room." Oliver announced.

"Why do you get the bigger room?" Adam asked.

"Because Olivia and I are married. Duh!" he said. I laughed. Adam rolled him eyes.

"First one there gets the room." Adam said challenging Oliver. Adam was already halfway up the stairs when Oliver noticed what was happening.

"That's not fair you cheated!" Oliver screamed running after him. I heard a Crash.

"ADAM AND OLIVER THOMPSON WHAT DID YOU DO KNOW?" Gabriel yelled.

"He did it." They said at the same time which was very unconvincing. Adam rolled his eyes as he came down the stairs. "I'm going hunting." He muttered as he passed me.

"I'll so with you son." My husband said following him in the forest. The rest of us made our way into the house and started to unpack.

_Adam Pov_

Good hunting I needed this. I needed to quench my thirst before going out to where humans were. Gabriel was following me. We went deeper and deeper into the woods. I took a deep breath and let my senses take over...

I let myself go no conscience no nothing. Just a hunter and its prey. I smelled something sweet and little, it was a family of bunnies. They heard me and quickly scattered. I ran to catch the one that was going the slowest. I pounced and sunk my teeth into its flesh. I sucked and sucked on the bunny. I could feel blood going down my chin and staining my clothes. Allegra was going to have a fit.

A sudden breeze carried a delectable sent to my nose. It was mouthwatering, it was human. I Sniffed and sniffed the air letting it draw me closer. I would never forgive myself for what I was about to do, as I saw a frail human lying in a ball on the floor crying. I walked toward her.

"I'm Sorry." I told her as I darted to her ready for the kill.

_Gabriel Pov _

I heard a bloody curdling scream coming from the woods. I quickly dropped my deer and ran toward the scream. I picked up my pace trying to find Adam. He wouldn't forgive himself after what he had done. I came to a stop as I saw Adam sucking on an almost lifeless girl. I sprinted toward him and threw him off of her I snarled at him. He had a pained expression on his face.

"I'm sorry….I'm so…sorry." He said putting his head in his hands. He left so ashamed. He went up against a tree and sunk down and cried tearless sobs. I looked back at the girl as she writhed in pain.

"Adam, we need to take her back to the house." I picked her up and went straight for the house. Adam slowly followed at human pace. I pushed the door open and carefully set the girl down on the couch. Adam was behind me. I cautiously watched as he traced her face with his hand. He looked at her with such regret and pain. This was the first time a human he had bitten survived. The family arrived quickly as the scent of her blood filled the house.

"What the hell were you thinking? How could be so irresponsible?" Oliver yelled at him.

"It was an accident. I didn't mean too. I…I… couldn't resist. She smelt unbelievably good." Adam said back to Oliver.

"We've taught you better than this." Oliver responded back to him.

"What did Adam do this time?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, what did you do this time?" Evelyn said in a nasty voice. Evelyn followed Adam's eyes to a girl on the couch. They all gasped.

"You didn't." Everyone said at the same time. He didn't respond he just stared at the girl. Dillon moved to the girl on the couch and kneeled by her head.

"Awww, that poor girl." Dillon said in a pouty face.

"Ahhh…" Her voice filled the house as she screamed one last time before the change was over.

_Bella Pov_

One last jolt of pain steered through me. I screamed on last time. The pain was dulling. My heart starting to beat slower and slower until I heard nothing. My senses becoming stronger. When the last jolt of pain was finished, I slowly opened my eyes. Everything was different; so much clearer. I saw seven vampires with golden eyes in a circle in the middle of the room staring at me.

"Hello Dear, My names Allegra and this is my husband Gabriel." She said.

"Hi I'm Olivia." A beautiful blonde haired girl said to me. She seemed really sweet unlike Rosalie. "This is Oliver my husband." He had short brown hair and a semi muscular body.

"Hi I'm Bella." I said to her extending my hand. She shook it and smiled.

"This is Evelyn." She pointed to the girl with long flowy brown hair. "This is Dillon." She pointed to a cute boy in the corner. He had blonde hair and the cutest face. "Last but not least is _Adam_." She sneered. He was very attractive. He had toned body, strong jaw, and was drop dead gorgeous.

"This might come as a shock to you but you're a-" Gabriel started to say.

"Vampire." I said interrupting Gabriel. "I already know." They all gasped.

"What do you mean you already know?" Olivia asked.

"I had a boyfriend who was a vampire. He left me in the forest two days ago. Then you came across me." I said looking at Adam. Everyone sent him a glare.

"Oh, I'm sorry…Wait how did he resist your blood. It smelt so good." He asked.

"They were just like you. They only drank animal blood. They were very careful around me." I responded to Adam. Adam lowered his head in shame.

"It's alright…Really." I said to Adam.

"NO it's not alright. I'm not supposed to lose control like that. I almost killed you…"He paused. "You could have died." He whispered softly. If I hadn't been a vampire I wouldn't have heard him. He reminded me so much of Edward always blaming himself for everything. He ran out the door letting it slam. I looked up at his family.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine…he's just sensitive right now. He's never had much control and when he bit you…it kind of set him off." Allegra said cutting me off. "Are you Thirsty dear?" I felt a little burning sensation in my throat. It was nothing big. I didn't have the urge to have blood.

"No, I'm fine." I said to reassuring her

"Are you sure?" Allegra said urging me on.

"I…" I started to say.

"Olivia and Evelyn will go with you."

"Allegra, I'm fine really."

"Bella, you're a new born vampire. Just as a precaution…please just go."

"Alright." I sighed. Evelyn and Olivia ran over to me and led me deep into the woods.

"Just let yourself go. Let your instincts take over and run." After she gave me instruction I took off running. I smelt a group of deer to the east. I let myself go and went toward the deer. I found myself in a familiar place. I was just here three days earlier. In our meadow, I laid down and let the memories take over.

_Flashback_

_I woke up in the hospital. The heart monitor was beeping and I saw the IV in my arm. I was lucky that the Cullens showed up when they did. I would have been dead if they didn't. Edward came in the door and quickly rushed to my side as he saw that my eyes were open. I felt tears leak out of the corners of my eyes._

_"Everything's going to be okay…you're okay. I'll always be here with you. I'll never leave you." He kissed my forehead._

_End Flashback_

What a lie. I was so stupid to believe him. But I still wanted to hear him say that it would all be okay. I wanted to hear him whisper in my ear that he loved me and that he needed me. That he was always going to be there for me. That he was never going to leave me. I wanted him to be there so badly. I wanted him to kiss away the pain and make it stop. I wanted him to soothe it all away. But he wasn't here.


	3. Chapter 3: Author's Note

**Hey guys.**

**This is stolzybaby and allythevampchick. We are glad this story has done this good. We never expected it to. Thanks for supporting us by favorite-ing and reviewing. Unfortunately, we dislike the last few chapter we posted, because we feel like we rushed our writing.**

**We are taking a break in our writing. We will be taking down the last few chapters. Thanks for all your support in this story. If you have any suggestions about how you want to see our story unfold, let us know in your reviews.**


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